NLP Awareness Center

NLP Behavioral Consultants of NJ

 Michael J. Lofrano,CEO
 732-276-7500/o     732-684-7910/c

Tone, cadence, pitch and depth.

Matching voice tone is a quick route to rapport.  This skill is especially effective in telephone conversations when body language is absent.  If you don’t know how to listen for subtleties in voice tone you can easily create a mismatch. If you speak quickly, and are engaged in conversation with someone with a slow, measured rate, it becomes apparent that the communication is going nowhere.  By altering your rate of talk to match others you can attain immediate rapport.  You can easily achieve the results you desire when you learn how to listen.

Matching Body Language

Words are categorized as follows

1.      Visual Words: clear, see, look, view, etc.

2.      Auditory Words: listen, hear, tell, etc.

3.      Feeling Words: grip, handle, feel, etc.

4.       Value Words: freedom, space, relaxation, caring, etc.

Each of us has a preferred category, or style with which we choose to communicate.  We tend to delete, distort or misinterpret communications that do not match the style we prefer.  When people with different styles who lack flexibility in their communication styles try to communicate, they may as well be speaking in different languages.  Can you imagine trying to close a sale if you and your client speak in different tongues?  A team leader who lacks this flexibility is only a short step from anarchy.

What can you do?  Successful sales reps and effective team leaders have learned to adapt their style to the person or audience they’re addressing.  They have developed the ability to switch categories enabling them to communicate with any individual's style.  They make clients or subordinates feel comfortable.  They develop rapport that deepens the connections with others to guarantee optimum performance.  Some rare individuals naturally possess this ability, but the rest of us must learn.

Have you ever observed two people in a heated debate over an issue on which they disagree?

Can you remember having an “uncomfortable” feeling around a certain person for no apparent reason?

Do you know why you can work so well with some people, while with others it’s a struggle?

Have you ever wondered why you can easily close a deal with one client and yet be unable to make a dent in a nearly identical account?  Could there be a break down in communication?

It’s quite easy to explain this.  The problem is miscommunication.

If you can match communication styles, you quickly establish trust and rapport. If you can’t, you don’t.

Posture, gesture and facial expressions.

Have you ever been present in a restaurant and observed two people in perfect rapport.

Perhaps they are both leaning forward, assuming the same posture, gesturing in the same manner, mirroring each other’s moves as if choreographed.  You do not have to hear a word of their conversation to know they have connected.  That’s rapport.

 It’s just as easy to discern disagreement or conflict by the lack of mirroring in their movements and posture.

To establish non verbal rapport, one must match another person's body language and mirror their gestures.  The unconscious mind registers this and translates the actions to “YOU ARE JUST LIKE ME."  That’s when the dance of rapport begins.

By observing others and practicing your communication style you will quickly learn to establish rapport and trust with a person in any context.  This is the key to achieving your desired results.

 You can learn to recognize and tactfully address a hidden agenda to find out what is important to and valued by the people with whom you communicate

Matching Words

Matching Voice Characteristics

Communication styles are directly connected to our emotions, or “gut feelings..."  Our communication styles are composed of the words we use, the tone of our voice, and our non verbal or body language. As you read on, notice how easy it is to build rapport with others.

NLP Behavioral Consultants of NJ Executive Coaching

Communication Style Can Make a Difference

What Are Communication Styles?

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